Time has stood still in my life for years, as I had to learn an to cope with this

FOR SEE WHEN I AM NOW LOOKING BACK THROUGH THE MIST OF THE LATEX

WHEN; ALL THIS; CAME INTO MY LIFE, I KNEW NOT; WHAT WAS AHEAD OF ME

I had no idea how this; would or could turn my/our life upside down, how it was going; to bleed

into everything we did and enjoyed in life. I thought a little medication was going to do wonders

so I just needed; to recuperate and then I could go straight back to, where I left off. How wrong

I was, how naive we where, and how dangerous it was; that my doctors' did not tell us anything

From that point it was one big rollercoaster, a ride where we all where; clinging to 'my dear life'

After my first Latex anaphylaxis to these gloves I had to wear, had given me the fright of my life

yet I understood nothing of what truly was going on, only that I never wanted to experience that

again. Also here I was so wrong as it now came again and again, as I was tested as I was going

about in my life as I was eating and as I was just living and doing all the normal things I used to

I HAD TO LEARN SO FAST; I HAD TO RELY ON MY OWN SURVIVAL INSTINCTS.

NO ONE AROUND ME; 'UNDERSTOOD WHY I WENT INTO THESE ANAPHYLAXIS'.

Seemingly; 'by the drop of a hat', neither did I. I felt it, I lived it I had to survive it too every time

for I truly fought for my life. I truly fought against a negligence, of enormous proportions around

me. I was dismissed; as a malingerer 'one; that was out; to get something'. No one understood

that 'IT' was truly what I had got, but not the way they understood it to be, I had IT already & IT

was truly spoiling my life; (everything they too knew as a life) what it meant to be living, in a life

When they finally realized what went wrong it was truly too late, my body had turned the corner

where it now recognized everything that was alike and reacted virulently, even when I/we didn't

know how it all was connected up. Again question; upon question had to asked, had to be fully

researched and answered before any danger could be eliminated from my/our life or surviving

THESE LIFE THREATENING ANAPHYLAXIS I HAD UNDER & AFTER MY TESTING.

THEN LEFT US TO ALL THESE DANGERS THEY KNEW

ABOUT, AGAIN AND AGAIN

WITH; EPI PENS & TOLD TO JUST; USE IT YOURSELF

.

WITH; NO HELP FROM; THESE PEOPLE IN THE KNOW

"PROTECTING THEMSELVES"

AFTER TELLING; OF THE MISTAKE AND THE TRUTH

SEEING; A POSSIBLE NEGLIGENCE COURT CASE, SO

THEY KNEW WHAT TO WRITE

TO SET THEM SELVES FREE; OF A RESPONSIBILITY

A KNOWINGNESS, CAN BECOME GREAT WISDOM,

IT CAN BE MANIPULATION TOO

THEN GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES TO NOWHERE

IN FALSE RAPPORTS; TO PROTECT THEM SELVES

PROTECT THEIR OWN MISTAKES.

AS A WORKER IS REGARDED AS NOT IMPORTANT

THEN SENT US SAILING IN THE SEA OF SILENCE,

DECIPT AND LIES REGARDLESS

OF ANY DANGER JUST WASHED THEIR HANDS,

OF WHAT TRULY IS A DUTY & CARE? WHEN THINGS CAN'T BE RE-DONE

See, when money, or a possible compensation; comes into this equation; we will not; be looked

after proper by the people in the know. If I had got sick; away from work, if I had got any other

sickness, I would have; been looked after proper from the beginning. They would not; have left

me to my own devises, the way they did. I was first treated by a specialist and a director of this

same company as I worked. What had; and was happening, I later discovered was Never being

written proper in my Journal, and who was trusted, more than I...then?? Yes I was naive, yet see

I truly knew nothing of these dangers of powdered gloves. Weeks before I had symptoms; while

at work yet I knew not what I was getting then. I knew not about serious allergies as they where

not really, a part of my family history. I had seen hand reactions, yet these so serious lung ones

I DID NOT CONNECT; TO MY OWN USE OF THESE; POWDERED LATEX GLOVES,

...I UNDERSTOOD NOT; WHY I SUDDENLY COULD NOT BREATHE, MY SWELLINGS...

Now I do not write this to complain, happened has happened, and I too still has a life, a form of

life, that I now can live. I write this because I know many more people have had many so similar

experience, and because other workplaces and industries, still use these gloves. Yes, I know we

got to be careful not to get other contagious diseases, yet there is many who still uses them who

do not need to. Why; is the powdered gloves still manufactured to this day, when all knows they

are the most dangerous ones, to our health and well being. Why; has they not yet been; banded

20 years; past the knowings, that it is this latex glove powders that contain and spread all these

so devastating latex proteins everywhere; they are in use? Why can that not just; be stopped???

***> http://safety-matters-in-bussiness.blogspot.com/2009/07/

latex-allergy-health-and-safety-and.html <***

YET THERE IS NO RESPECT, NO CONCERN, NO REAL HELP TO ELIMINATE THIS.

I CAN HAVE MANY ATTACKS A DAY AND I HAVE DAYS; WHERE I HAVE NONE.

So many things affect me now, pollens, smoke and pollutions when I venture outside, and even

getting stuck; in traffic or tunnels; smoke from fireplaces set me off or build up on top of other

stuff, grass cuttings, some washing powders, and personal soap, some printed materials, then

even; my new computer; had something; 'in it' when it' warmed up. We have to be; careful with

pen grips mouse pads, many plants in my garden; will affect me if they are being cut. Going to

the shops; is a thing of the past, as I always get sick afterward, now that has become 'a treat' I

do when/if I feel I can handle to become sick yet another time. You know I could continue none

stop, with all the things I never do anymore. Yet, that is in the past for me now I finally learned.

THAT BLISS; COMES FROM FEELING HEALTHY, FROM LIVING IN AWARENESS.

FOR; AN INNER POWER THEN COMES FORT, ABOUT HOW TO COPE MY LIFE

Yet the hardest; and the most difficult; and most dangerous attacks, has always been from my

FOODS. FOOD MY PRECIOUS FOODS HAS ALL BUT LEFT MY LIFE, NOW TO BE ABLE; TO SURVIVE.

Even these attacks; can be different every time, more or less; depending what it is' I am eating

how sensitive I am at that time, and what part of my body, was affected. It has been very, very

difficult and very frightening experiences to have food allergies or sensitivities OAS always hurt.

As time that went by to I/we and my doctor my specialists and dietitians found out these foods

that I still can eat. It took years, and it took all my inner power; to stay calm whenever; I had to

eat, or try to eat different foods, always ready with my adrenaline and other medications, and

THE PREMEDICATIONS, WAS NEVER, ABLE TO QUELL ATTACKS COMPLETELY.

SO LOST IS FOREVER THE FESTIVE SEASONS FOR ME NOW AS I GO WITHOUT

Yet its OK, for my life is getting back to a level where I better can live with it all, in inner peace.

It has been a huge trip; to come to this point, a steep learning curve. It was devastating a long

time when we learned about the Food I could eat i.e getting attacks when eating any food with

the proteins that I reacted to. Times with breathlessness and asthma; spots and swelling, with

vomiting and diarrhea and forever an adrenaline injecting kit ready or in use. It was the worst

time of our lives. Whenever I was eating a foods I had not had for a while; to just; wait and see

what would happen and we never had to wait for long, the reaction came very, very fast and it

was such a nerve wracking experience not to know if this was it, if that was my last meal in life.

YET, WE ALL HAVE TO HAVE SOME FOOD, TO SURVIVE TO LIVE OUR LIVES.

WE WILL NEVER FORGET; THAT HORROR TIME, FOR AS LONG, AS WE LIVE,

Now living a simplified life, living in a world where I better can live without always becoming so

sick.Yet beside all these foods and drinks I had to give up, there was a million other things too.

Gone are the toothbrushes with rubber grips and gone are all the clothes with elastic too, shoes

small pieces on any phone,calculators,computer mouse with rubber/latex, pencil grips, erasers

any glue and all no slip material, rubber bands, yes anything with any rubber grip, some cords

tyres & carpet with rubber backing adhesive tapes, medical equip. on and on it goes. Yet other

things can be difficult to avoid, i.e food preparation with latex gloves, food packaging, the seal

in car doors or other seals and gasket or hoses hidden within things, yes we still find new stuff.

THIS WILL JUST GIVE A SMALL PICTURE, OF ALL LATEX RUBBER IN OUR LIVES.

ITS NO SMALL FEAT TO LEARN TO LIVE IN A; LATEX-FOOD-MATERIAL WORLD

I KNOW. I STILL WILL GET ATTACK I HOPE AND I BELIEVE I CAN KEEP THEM T BAY, SO MY

BODY CAN FIND PEACE AND FORGET, IT EVER REACTED THIS WAY, I BELIEVE I CAN HEAL.

ALSO DESPITE ALL 'IN THE KNOW' SAY I HAVE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

THESE ALLERGIES; CUT DEEP INTO ANY LIFE, DEEP INTO WHAT WE CAN DO.

DO NOT; END UP; WHERE WE ARE NOW. LOOK AFTER YOU, AND YOUR FAMILY.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

BE AWARE THAT FAMILY, OR ANY OTHER PARTY TIME IS WHERE THE GREATEST

DANGERS ARE FOUND WHERE PEOPLE OFTEN DO THINGS' DIFFERENT TO WHAT

THEY NORMALLY DO REGARDING FOODS, DECORATION, CLOTHES OR BY THEIR

USE OF PERFUMES OR AFTERSHAVES, BY WHAT THEY DRINK OR WHAT IS EATEN.

OFTEN WE GO TO DIFFERENT PLACES, WHERE THINGS ARE AROUND US WE ARE

ALLERGIC TO, AND SEE BECAUSE IT DO NOT AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE; IT IS VERY

DIFFICULT FOR THEM, TO UNDERSTAND OUR ENORMOUS ALLERGY/SENSITIVITY.

ITS SOMETIMES IMPOSSIBLE TO BE THERE AT ALL; WITHOUT SERIOUSLY RISKING'

A LIFE THREATENING ALLERGIC REACTION, AND IT COMES; SO FAST... SO FAST.

SOMETIMES THE COLD, THE HOT, THE NATURAL EVEN GET US SHAKEN UP TOO

SO NOW WE DO LIVE WITH ENORMOUS RISK TO OUR LIVES ITS NONE STOP TOO

Yes, we must live and we must eat, and breathe; to live a good life. yet if you get severe food

allergies and serious or acute asthma and anaphylaxis then know life as we know it is altered

forever, nothing; no thing will ever be the same anymore. As life; is enormous isolated and all

that we do, has to be planed in the smallest detail' all the time no impulses, no urgency when

doing anything, think and think; and think ones more before we do anything. Touch, eat even

all we drink, all our food is prepared; separately, different just as we eat different foods now

where so many, many things can make us instant sick, or give us the delayed bodily reactions

So many NO, NO; so many sorry; I can't do this' or that. Yes it very, very difficult & depressing.

Yet we/I must find a way; to live the life I have now, find back to happiness find peace in soul.

Therefore, I see not so much more; what I can, or can't do, I just don't DO; what I know I can't

then I concentrate on, what I can, how I can use my time, to be of some benefit, without being

put in dangers all the time. Then my mind, my body, and my soul can relax, and feel just fine.

I love when I can sit outside when I can watch the clouds bloom, and see the birds being busy

feeding their young, listen to music, reading a book & talk to family and friends, on the phone.

I'm writing much, poetry is really healing, and to write my thoughts do heal too, to write what I

have learned on this my/our Journey is good for my soul, as I can give you what I was missing.

It is difficult; to have people coming around, if they wear something that set my body of like a

rocket I and these serious attacks scare them for life as they become aware; how we truly live.

I have despite this; had much help in my life in my days to cope with this, often from strangers

people that suddenly realized how lucky they are, yet was able to help me/us somehow; to be

to become strong by the way they understood. Other people have left our life, as they was not

able to cope with these huge life changing alterations in our life, was not able to cope, with me

being sick, or needy, being angry or crying when they got over their own so serious sicknesses

and I felt sorry for myself that I was still in this life a life I must learn to accept learn to become

friends with yet again. The hardest thing has been to let go of big celebrations, our own or the

people we know and love. Yet we understand it is impossible to have people understand, that

I cant be near the balloons, the perfumes, smoke and its really hard to 'see' people eat foods.

Foods, that was no problem before all of this, Food I ones loved to eat and to cook, so going to

parties; has become a too big reminder, of all that is no more possible in my life. Yes I know it

sound pathetic, yet I do not know how you would feel; about not alone giving all of this up, also

not even being able to be there; because of these dangers; it represent. No, do not think for a

moment I did not try, I did; and again and again, I was left; with serious allergy attacks that left

me serious sick. Just remember that our triggers come; as inhaling, ingesting, injecting & touch.

So it is to protect my now fragile body, mind, spirit and soul, that I have found; it is easier; just

to step back. Then I can feel safe, then I know, what I do, then I can think and I can have a life.

A life where I can begin to heal all this damage all these reactions has given me for a long time.

I am not going to give up, or to give in, I am not going to feel like a victim, or any jailed person.

I am free, in my spirit & from my mind the way I just change things around' and away from any

pain or fright, that I get. I look after my body as best as I can, I believe that I can be better too

yet that will only happen when I try. I know my limits now and they are the ones that has made

me strong, they are the ones; that has shown me, where I can trust myself to live & to be; Free,

Free from suffering and big pains, free from frightening life threatening anaphylaxis or Asthma.

This; is my life now, against all the odds I am going to live This My Life to the best of my ability.

I will protect myself, I will be fully aware of what I do, I will not say; oh maybe I can do this now

for that landed me in trouble far too many times in these years gone by as I didn't understand.

No more will I freely go around in your world, for I have learned the hard way through pain

and huge warnings from my body, how dangerous it truly can be for me for you and for all.

No more; are they going to hold me ransom, no more am I listening, to anyone else than my

own body, it is that and only that which can tell me about what dangers I encounter in a day.

No more will I do things because I think I can, or someone tells me should try, only and only

if I feel safe, if I am ready and able to treat any adverse reaction my body goes into as Now.

No more; will I feel so sick as I did for years upon years because I didn't know enough about

what truly was going on and I just pushed myself. As others denied so too did I unfortunately.

No more will I feel sad that I can't do this or that as I live my life I will feel lucky that I still has

a Life, the Greatest Husband, a Beautiful Son, my Family, and Friends & Strangers, who smile.

No more am I going to let anyone decide, what is the best for me without I know that it is too,

for it is here; I run into the greatest troubles, and that is now; a no, no for me; I live in safety.

No more will I easy give in or give up; thinking it is all too hard. No more am I going to just sit

back, and cry and cry for what has been done to me, I am going to show, that it can be lived.

No more am I going to be bitter or angry or feel that I have been left behind in all others lives

just because I can't join them in their lives. I am going; to make the best; of all that I have left.

SEE I STILL HAVE TIME LEFT, I CAN STILL OFFER SOMETHING TO SOMEONE I CAN LIVE MY LIFE

BECAUSE, I HAVE BEEN HELPED; NO END, BY THESE PEOPLE, WHO CARE ABOUT ME; AS I AM

SO PLEASE COME AND JOIN ME ON MY HEALING JOURNEY, NOW AND THEN I WILL RE-NEW.

I DO KNOW; I CAN SURVIVE; TO MY TIME; IS UP, IF I KEEP LOOKING AFTER; MY SELF; FULLY.

I WILL STEP UP & OUT IN MYSELF, I WILL BECOME SOMETHING I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS IN LIFE.

I WILL NOW THANK EVERY SOUL THAT HAS HELPED ME REACH TO THIS STAGE IN MY SELF

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL I HAVE LEARNED, ALL I HAVE DISCOVERED ABOUT ALL OF LIFE.

I AM SO DELIGHTED I STILL HAVE A LIFE, I HAVE MY SMILES, AS MY LAUGHTER GIVES PAINS.

I DO APPRECIATE, THE HARD LESSONS; THESE HARD YEARS, AS THEY TAUGHT; SO MUCH.

SO NOW I STEP BACK INTO MY HEALING PEACE; IN MY QUIET LIFE, WITH MY; LOVED ONES.

AS I AM

YES, IT IS 'A JOB' THAT IS VERY TIME CONSUMING, AS IT IS ALSO TO BEING AWARE; THAT IT

MAYBE INSTEAD; IS OUR WORLD THAT NEEDS THIS HEALING BEFORE ALL DO END AS WE'RE.

YET, I MARCH ON IN MY DAYS ON THE HEALING ROAD TO BECOME ATTACK-FREE. ON THIS

ROAD, I KNOW THERE ARE MANY BUMPS, I WILL CONQUER THEM ALL; BY MY INNER POWERS

MY WILL; TO HEAL MYSELF

NO MATTER; HOW LONG, IT IS GOING TO TAKE

OR IF I FEEL ISOLATED IN THIS MY PROTECTED WORLD

IT IS A PLACE WHERE I HAVE COME NEAR THE CREATOR OF ALL THERE IS I FEEL SO BLESSED.